i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Someone shit on the floor
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
