i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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