I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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