I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You are a genius and a whore.
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