He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
