there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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