Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
