The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
