they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
