you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
