p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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