Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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