Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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