we have pet lesbian snakes
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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