Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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