do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize