The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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