I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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