Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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