i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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