Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
