Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
