worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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