I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
