apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
