somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
