hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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