The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
