So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
