nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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