I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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