WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
