cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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