Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
