Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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