Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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