i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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