Whod you bang
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
