i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
