I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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