I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
