I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
organizing the empties. That sober.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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