Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
