My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
