took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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