she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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