Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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