I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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