he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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