Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
