I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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