I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
