we're chasing vodka with high fives
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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