If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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