I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
