your room smells of hookers.
And success
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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