he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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