Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize