I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
so much tequila, so little girl.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
